Breaking News: Luttig Applications Plummet; Boeing Apps to Soar
Chicago, May 10, 2006. (satire)
The news that 4th Circuit Judge J. Michael Luttig was resigning his appointment (Volokh Conspiracy) to become Vice President and General Counsel of Boeing precipitated panic among law students today.
"I've withdrawn my application to clerk for Judge Luttig, and submitted one to Boeing!" announced one anonymous law student amid a flurry of photocopied transcripts, letters of recommendations, and personal statements.
It has been noted that Luttig, #1 feeder for the Supreme Court, provided a significant perk to those who obtained prized clerkships from him. Such a lofty accomplishment "basically guaranteed a second clerkship with Justice Scalia, Thomas, or Kennedy" (Orin Kerr).
The announcement caused three heart attacks among University of Chicago Law students, two panic attacks from Yale students, and was the proximate cause of a Harvard student throwing a telephone across a law journal office.
It is expected that Boeing (press release) will soon experience the most qualified straight-out-of-law-school applicant pool in approximately 30 years.
The Fourth Circuit (Official site, Wikipedia page), for its part, plans to remain strikingly conservative. Except sometimes.
(/satire)
The news that 4th Circuit Judge J. Michael Luttig was resigning his appointment (Volokh Conspiracy) to become Vice President and General Counsel of Boeing precipitated panic among law students today.
"I've withdrawn my application to clerk for Judge Luttig, and submitted one to Boeing!" announced one anonymous law student amid a flurry of photocopied transcripts, letters of recommendations, and personal statements.
It has been noted that Luttig, #1 feeder for the Supreme Court, provided a significant perk to those who obtained prized clerkships from him. Such a lofty accomplishment "basically guaranteed a second clerkship with Justice Scalia, Thomas, or Kennedy" (Orin Kerr).
The announcement caused three heart attacks among University of Chicago Law students, two panic attacks from Yale students, and was the proximate cause of a Harvard student throwing a telephone across a law journal office.
It is expected that Boeing (press release) will soon experience the most qualified straight-out-of-law-school applicant pool in approximately 30 years.
The Fourth Circuit (Official site, Wikipedia page), for its part, plans to remain strikingly conservative. Except sometimes.
(/satire)
Posted by Eh Nonymous on
Wednesday May 10, 2006 at 6:10pm
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